Building A Better Relationship

To Bears Kaufman and the Option Family:

I feel compelled to share my life-changing experience with you so here it is!

My husband Peter and I have been together for almost 20 years and we have two little children, Gabriel and Daniel. Although I thought I felt satisfied with our relationship Peter has constantly been searching for more to move our relationship to a higher level. I frankly resisted those efforts due to threat of change or loss of control, etc. Peter decided to go to the Happiness Option Weekend program in early February and requested that I go to the weekend program at the end of March.

He returned from the Happiness Option Weekend drained but moved by what he experienced. Impressed by his experience, I, using my usual lawyerly approach to a situation, read all that I could to prepare myself for my weekend. I read Happiness Is A Choice and To Love Is To Be Happy With and realized that this approach to problems could add to my life. So, I tried it. I guess it worked so well (and your happiness weekend worked so well) that Peter now felt comfortable to reveal to me that he had been sleeping with another woman and he explained to me his reasons. I was devastated and hysterical. I spent the entire night asking him how he could ruin my life, I thought I could not go on and I decided to leave him as I could not live in a relationship where such a deception had occurred.

Over the weekend I visited my sister in Annapolis and cried for 48 hours and became angrier and continued to feel an almost unbearable hurt. I talked to Peter extensively during this time as he explained that he had the affair for us as he was searching for ways to continue in our relationship while desperately trying to find what he was looking for. I reaffirmed my decision to leave him and talked with my sister about the mechanics of how to divide the possessions and how to deal with the kids.

I drove home that afternoon to see my children. As I was approaching the Pennsylvania border, I played the Wayne Dyer tape that I had just checked out of the library and was reminded of the dialogues and the Option Process®. I started a dialogue with myself and realized I understood why Peter did what he did, realized he did the best he could under the circumstances and trusted that he was doing it for us. I realized this was an unbelievable opportunity to move to the level Peter had been searching for. I made the decision to return home and use this experience as a positive one in our relationship, yet I remained angry at him. Then I asked myself the question that I did not initially understand when I read To Love Is To Be Happy With – What are you afraid will happen if you do not get angry? What a powerful tool! Was I afraid he will do it again? No. Was I afraid he was not sorry ? No. There, I realized I had no reason for my anger and was able to just let it go. What a power.

The next day Peter and I talked for hours and resolved so many things. However, I still felt an intense hurt. I began another dialogue process to deal with that and returned to the same question – Was I afraid he was not aware of how hurt I was? No. Again I was able to let go of that hurt.

It is now a week after Peter’s initial revelation and Peter and I are at a place in our relationship emotionally, sexually, and spiritually that I never dreamt I could be all brought about simply from reading your books! I truly believe that Peter and I would not be together and I would be filing for divorce without the publication of Happiness Is A Choice… Thank you and I wish to leave you with a poem from Rumi that describes the beautiful state Peter and I are in because of Option:

To Peter:

When it’s cold and raining,
You are more beautiful

And the snow brings me
even closer to your lips.

The Inner Secret, that which was never born,
You are that freshness, and I am with you now.

I can’t explain the goings,
and the comings. You enter suddenly,

and I am nowhere again.
Inside the Majesty.

Thank you for bringing us there. We will see you at the CoupleCourse program in May.

Kathleen

Read more inspiring stories

Contact Us

Call Me

Or send us a message or question and we will get back to you as soon as we can.

x

 

The Option Institute and its teachers have had the honor to present programs (during the last four decades) that explore the attitudes and beliefs we have (and may want to change) and to help program participants find their own answers to questions about relationships, careers, family challenges and health issues. Our new program, 5 Days to Live, Defying a Terminal Cancer Prognosis , focuses on navigating significant health challenges and decision-making with greater ease, clarity, and clear purpose.

We are not a medical facility and we do not dispense any medical advice. We have and would always guide our program participants, to consult with their doctors, healthcare providers, and family members in making medical decisions for themselves and those they love. Neither Mass General Hospital nor any member of its medical staff endorses any program being offered by the Option Institute and its teachers.

NOTE: Attendance of live sessions via Zoom are required to complete this course.

Please note, this is a per-person registration

CONTINUE

 

PRE-REQUISITES for attending Advanced Power Dialogues are:

  • Completion of The Option Institute’s PowerDialogues program.
  • If it’s been more than 5 years since you attended PowerDialogues, please call 413-229-2100 to discuss options.

NOTE: Attendance of live sessions via Zoom are required to complete this course.

Please note, this is a per-person registration

CONTINUE

Dear Donor,

Jeannie Reid was searching for answers to the challenges she and her family were facing. Jeannie and her husband Stuart’s son, Carson, had been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, a condition on the Autism spectrum. For Carson that meant being completely involved in obsessive behaviors and only using minimal words to identify objects, as well as frequently and completely melting down.

Soon after, Jeannie found the book, “Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues” and when she read it, she KNEW she had found what she was looking for. She began using some of the Son-Rise techniques described in the book on her own until she was able to come to The Autism Treatment Center of America for the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. As she put into practice what she learned there, Carson’s world was opening up. Today Carson is attending a Montessori school as a 'typical' student and functioning at or above typical grade level, being fully verbal and conversational, and very interested in learning about the world and interacting as much as possible with other people. He is even taking swim lessons at the local YMCA and doing great!

“It has been wonderful to get, and stay connected with other people and Son-Rise parents from all over the world. My son’s progress had already come very far, but now I truly believe we can go all the way!”

Jeannie wrote.

Stuart Reid then attended the Empower Yourself course and brought home a new sense of clarity, balance and personal power. He shared his new empowerment with Jeannie and she in turn gained in confidence, strength and enthusiasm. Their own relationship began to flourish anew, as well. Life-altering changes were happening for Jeannie and her family.

Jeannie journeyed again to Sheffield, this time for the Fearless course at The Option Institute to help her recognize and overcome her personal obstacles. Jeannie wanted to continue her amazing journey as she had found using the techniques she learned in The Son-Rise Program and in Fearless had absolutely changed the lives of everyone in her family.

But, because the Reids’ finances had been seriously stretched by then, their next steps were put on hold. Then an amazing event changed everything. Jeannie’s college roommate and lifelong friend decided to start a Son-Rise Program scholarship fund for people from the Cleveland area. Since then Jeannie has been able to move ahead with her courses, taking Radical Authenticity, Son-Rise Maximum Impact and Son-Rise Wide Awake ... and eventually she became a Certified Group Facilitator.

Jeannie Reid’s story is about wanting BIG and making it happen. She is about to embark on her renewed private practice as an art therapist, and plans to be a super advocate for The Son-Rise Program in her area. Her wonderful new life is a product of her persistence and belief, and of the wheels she helped set in motion for others when her friends learned of how she and her family had been impacted by The Son-Rise Program.

“I know I will be able to give back by helping others, and that will be the top of my personal mountain! Thank you to everyone who donates! You are making a big difference in the world!

Jeannie Reid

 

Dear Donor

Two years ago, Antonio's kindergarten teacher told us something was not quite right with our little boy. He was not socializing, he somersaulted all the time and hardly spoke at all. At the time I was working for a municipality close to Florence, Italy and basically I had nothing left after seeing to basic necessities.

In the meantime, I looked up Autism with Google and as I was also looking for happiness and personal growth, I was guided to The Option Institute, thence the Autism Treatment Center of America. I read up as much as I could and started trying to apply the “Happiness is a Choice” suggestions. I'm not quite good at it but it has helped me with attitude, and everything else that seemed trying is really different after all this.

When I decided to come for The Son-Rise Program Start-Up, I really had little or no money to pay for it. I spoke to my friends, old and new. My mother helped me, friends I thought couldn't [help] tried their very best and the scholarship did the rest.

What the scholarship did was give a HUGE boost to my fundraising. About six friends contributed the rest, at the travel agency a very kind lady who I may now call a friend helped me some more. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness. Here I am, happy to have attended the Start-Up program and looking forward to learning more and praying to God for guidance.

So the gist of the matter is, I am a happy mum who hopes to implement a wonderful relationship with her child and is riding a not so easy moment with lots of hope in her heart and THANK YOU is not enough for what I feel. I still remember William's words, “If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always got.” Now I'm trying to do different, bit by bit, day by day. I feel the difference already.

About Antonio ... we are going on with the Italian program and I play with Antonio after school in a quiet room in the house. Knowing what the little guy is exposed to (he's always putting his fingers in his ears and he seems to have problems with too much light in his eyes), I find him very brave as he bears it tolerably. Drums a lot to digest it all.

When we went to the doctor, just weeks after starting the program at home, she told me that she found him more attentive. His attention span has increased. He is also tagging or pulling at one's arm when looking for attention. The child psychologist last Saturday reported the same thing and what's more, my son has always required that I enter the room, hence assisting in every session. Well, this time he went in along with the doctor and told me, “See you later.”

At school, his teacher who speaks English as well, read up and watched my DVD (Kyle’s Journey, Jade and “I want my little boy back”). Now she's changing, bit by bit and I do appreciate that very much. He seems to be OK with her and actually sent me away from class this morning, again telling me, “See you later.”

He is now ONE HUGE GREENLIGHT and I'm hoping to be able to really have volunteers (still looking), raise funds and settle down to business.

God bless,

Jackline

 

Dear Donor,

I am the mother of three children, all on the Autism Spectrum. Before I heard of the Son-Rise Program and the Option Institute, I was a desperate, angry and depressed person…. I was on Anti-depressants, sleeping multiple hours of the day, and for a period of time, using alcohol to run away from my pain.

Then I heard of the Son-Rise Program. I called to find out more about it and thought “this if for me!” But I could not afford it. You see raising one child with Autism is very expensive but raising three is just outrageously expensive with all the therapies and dietary interventions that we were doing.

But I was offered a full scholarship to the SRSU program. I have since attended all of the Son-Rise Programs and many of the Personal Growth programs offered by the Option Institute.  Each time I have been given a scholarship and each time I go I learn more about who I am and I change for the better each and every time.  Because of your most generous support, my children are recovering from Autism, I have found happiness in my life!  I am no longer on anti-depressants and I have so much more energy.

YOU are the reason that my family is in recovery. It is because of YOU that my oldest son now is enjoying school.  YOU are the reason my second son is speaking. YOU are the reason my daughter is no longer as rigid and controlling as she once was.  Thank you does not even begin to cover how much gratitude I have for you.  I thank God every day for you and I do not even know you.

Please know that you are changing lives with your donation to ATCA and the OI.  It is because of you that every day people are getting the help that they need. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

With so much love,

Kerry Rihtar