Learning to Love, Finding Happiness

Dear Teachers of Radical Authenticity 2006,


You are all so awesome. You guys are beyond brilliant. You are geniuses in facilitating love and happiness for other people. I am so blessed to have come to The Option Institute. I am so blessed for the experiences I have had at Option – especially this last one.

As I watched how you approached my 21 year old daughter Hilary throughout the week, it was artistry in motion. You were loving, allowing, gentle, not pushy, open and still incredibly encouraging. Wow. You are role models for me. You are role models for the human being I want to become and for the parent I want to become.

I have overwhelming trust in your love and in the process of learning, growing and changing in the safest, most secure, loving environment on the planet.

During the program, Hilary would say how she had to get out of there, how she would take the next flight out if she had money, that she hated how she was feeling, the program wasn’t for her. She blamed me for suggesting that she come.

The Saturday after the program, you would not have believed it. She said she hadn’t felt that peaceful and calm in a very, very long time. She said that she wanted to go to another Option program. (I couldn’t believe it!!!!) She said that she felt she would be forever changed in a positive way because she had attended Radical Authenticity.

It’s only been 4 days since the program ended, and I could write you a book about the new and wonderful things that have changed inside of me.

Here’s one of the coolest things. I know I have Care-Taking-Issues-Supreme. Yesterday at work, (I have worked as an RN for 10 years and a naturopathic physician for the past 14 years) – yesterday was the first day I actually felt like I was in heaven while working. It was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yesterday, I did not have one care-taking bone in my body. I asked questions (that I would not have normally asked) and watched patients come up with their own answers. I had no agenda that they had to resolve anything, and just a few minutes of questioning was such an awesome way to love them. I have always thought giving them prescriptions, answers, suggestions, treatments, advice, being present, was what I had to do in order to be helpful. I know different. I can love them in thousands of ways. I can love them by inviting them to accept or refute my advice. I can love them by asking questions without restraint on my part. I also for the first time, started to believe – I mean really believe – that my patients are doing the best they can and that they can take care of themselves.

I had a 50 some year old woman yesterday in my office that I was administering massive IV doses of vitamin C and other IV anti-cancer herbs to. She has breast cancer with extensive bone mets and severe anemia. I can’t even explain how it was different yesterday. It was like it was OK that she had the disease. I didn’t have to facilitate a cure for her. Loving her, helping her immune system to be strong for whatever time she has left, was enough. Not only was it enough, it was sheer grace to be there doing what I was doing. Wow. Thank you.

And best of all, Hilary and I talk differently to each other. Before Radical Authenticity, I tried dialoguing and being a mentor to her, but I was consistently met with: “stop asking me those stupid questions”. Now, when she is upset and I start asking questions and dialoguing with her, I am met with an open demeanour and a lack of resistance to my questioning.

I will be taking the parenting course with my husband in October 2007. This course was specially designed for me. I know it. Before you teachers even conceived of it, the universe had me in mind and said, “I am designing this course for Kathy Graham. By the time she takes it, it will be perfect for her”.

I want to share this wonderful course with the most glorious, wonderful man who ever walked the planet. We are partners in parenting and we will learn wonderful things together. I can’t imagine a sweeter experience to share with him.

When Bears says about Samahria, about looking at her and seeing that he is waking up next to an angel every morning, I imagine that that is similar to what I feel about Bill. He is a prince, and an angel, and a heavenly being that I can’t believe how blessed I am to wake up beside every morning. I love the Option process. I love him. Taking the Parenting Class would not only be the best gift I could ever give myself, it would also be a gift to my children, and a gift to him.

Anyway, you are all angels. I am truly, truly blessed. Thank you again and again.



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