The Option Institute has helped thousands of people overcome issues revolving around anger. If you’re struggling with anger-based challenges, please read below to see how we can help you live a life that is anger-free.
How Anger Affects Our Lives
If you are looking for anger management solutions, you’re not alone. An increasing number of us find that dealing with anger is having a larger and larger impact on our lives. This is no surprise, given that anger is a chief currency in our society. In fact, the average child of 15 has seen 15,000 people violently killed on television (Delega and Janda, 1981). We have been taught to see anger as bold and powerful, if not always prudent. Dr. Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd, a clinical psychologist and author of the book “Psychological Self-Help”, notes that, “in many way, the message is, aggression gets results.”
Even though it may seem as though our anger is sometimes “out of control,” we have seen the opposite. Each episode of anger is precipitated by an anger-generating belief, particularly the “anger = power” belief. As widespread as this belief is, in actuality, anger is not a display of power, it is a request for power by someone who feels powerless.
It’s not just our emotional experience that is compromised by our anger. There is an increasing volume of medical research pinpointing all of the ways that anger is detrimental to our physical well-being. For instance, recent research published by psychologists Edward C. Suarez, Ph.D., James G. Lewis, Ph.D., and Cynthia Kuhn, Ph.D., in Brain, Behavior, and Immunity (Vol. 16, No. 6) found that men who have a high degree of hostility and anger are more likely to have higher levels of an immune system protein that’s linked to several risk factors for cardiovascular problems. Additionally, understanding that 20% of the general population has levels of ongoing hostility high enough to be dangerous to their own health (originally cited by www.DivorcePeers.com, 2016), it becomes apparent why more and more individuals are seeking anger management solutions.
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Dealing With Anger: Personal Stories
When I arrived here, my mind was a maelstrom of judgments and repressed anger causing me to see-saw from unhappiness to happiness without ever being able to pin down why. I hid myself behind a mask of caring and love and never realized that I was having the total opposite effect on those I come in contact with. I was radically inauthentic. Through the love, acceptance, and most importantly, the challenges that were put before me, I have learnt to accept my judgments and have chosen to ask in a loving way, why I am doing them. Miracles do happen at The Option Institute. Thank you.
Mom, United Kingdom
I came to Empowering Yourself in midst of my divorce – really working hard to push back fear, anger and grief, clinging to a belief that me and my children would make it! In coming to a realization on what I want and shifting to empowering beliefs – I leave for home, full of strength, love, clarity – ready to show my children that changes are blessings and opportunities in disguise.
And it cost a lot. Over the next few years I became increasingly tired and ineffective. My productivity fell. I slept a lot and felt more and more unable to face people, my job, the demands of my life. Finally I was diagnosed with Major Depression. I spent 6 weeks in a prominent psychiatric hospital. The doctors concluded I suffered from a chemical imbalance and prescribed an antidepressant, along with other drugs. I returned to work but gradually, once again, slipped into the heavy, tiring existence of depression. My career was on hold, I was incapable of sustaining a relationship, and my sons only said they loved me on Christmas or on my birthday.
Then a friend introduced me to the books of Barry Neil Kaufman and the idea that happiness is a choice. Intrigued, I traveled to The Option Institute for private sessions. During this time I had the opportunity to examine my own vision of life as well as the beliefs and attitudes underlying my anger and depression. I realized that I believed I had no other choice besides getting angry or depressed when things didn’t go well for me. But through the gentle and non-judgmental dialogue sessions, I realized that I did have other choices – that I could treat the events of my life as misfortunes or as opportunities. I chose to do the latter. That decision has transformed my entire life. I stopped feeling bad about myself. I began to have fun. My energy increased. My productivity improved. I started to enjoy my work.
Today I’m no longer on medication. I’m happy, confident, optimistic for the future. My career has taken an exciting new turn. And my relationship with my sons has never been better.
Recently my oldest son failed to return some expensive stereo equipment he’d borrowed. When we finally spoke, he became tense and defensive, already anticipating my customary angry explosion. But! did not feel anger. Instead I discussed the incident in a firm, yet loving manner. At the end of the conversation, my son said ‘I love you Dad.’ It wasn’t Christmas. It wasn’t my birthday. Through the miracle of learning to choose happiness and love instead of anger, I had regained the most valuable relationship in my life.
Project Manager, Norway